Vampire Heist (2026)

Even though it wasn’t quite the bizarre comedy I thought it was going to be, it proved to be a delightful and thought-provoking time. I would like to take a moment to provide a word of caution though, as if you’re currently dealing with some more serious mental health issues, then this game might bring up some unpleasantness, especially if you haven’t dealt with things properly. That said, Vampire Therapist treats mental health issues with the utmost respect and is a surprisingly deep game that’s worth sinking your teeth into if this sort of thing interests you.

Overall, this is a disappointing port of a promising game. The game is virtually unplayable but I hope a patch will fix these issues, along with a Switch 2 compatibility update.

Solid Rated M for Mature experience in which you'll work on guiding vampires through emotional baggage

Even though I feel everyone could benefit from some therapy, I have to concede that not everyone is up for it. In a similar vein, Vampire Therapist will also not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if the concept of the game interests you even the littlest bit, I urge you to give it a go. The warmth and humanity it has to offer feels like a warm blanket in increasingly colder times, and with Sam we have a protagonist worth rooting for, even if his past has been a bit shady. Yes, we can debate some of the logic used during the therapy sessions, especially when it comes to labelling ourselves (some lines just can’t be crossed and then ignored), but all of it is interesting food for thought, and ultimately that’s all this game and therapy in general can do: make you consider things from a different perspective.

Vampire Therapist is a chilled experience to play through, and one that I enjoyed from start to finish. It was educational but not preachy, and the humour, voice acting and storyline kept me entertained. I had a couple of gripes, but overall – you could say I’m definitely in the ‘fang-club’.